Woman's Day

Today is "Mother's Day" to most people. Last year I decided that it's a stupid holiday and I would no longer celebrate it. Lets make it "Women's day" instead. 

Last year on this day, we were in the middle of our 6th fertility cycle. I was getting daily shots of FSH to try to make an egg for a chance to be a mother. I was upset because I was convinced that it would not work and we would need to go to IVF, and maybe I would even need to have an egg donor. All I wanted, more than anything else, was to have a baby. Almost every time I left my house or went online in early May last year were reminders of how I was not a mother. There were pictures of cute kids, and people congratulating others on their reproductive capabilities. It hurt. It hurt a lot. 

Have you ever had a time when you felt like your soul was being crushed? That's kinda what infertility feels like. Every fertility cycle you imagine your egg meeting up with a sperm and becoming a beautiful baby that will became a wonderful person. Then when you get a negative test, that theoretical child dies. Most people don't really understand the scope of that. People kept telling me things like, "Well, maybe next time." or "It will happen eventually." My baby DIED. Why would people act like nothing had happened? 

Anyways, back to the point of this blog post. When you wish someone (in public), "Happy Mother's Day" you are crushing the souls of people who want more than anything to be a mother who might hear you. You are shoving it in their face all day long. A lot of infertiles refuse to leave the house on Woman's day because it hurts too much. 

Now that I am on the other side and this year I am a mother, I still don't see the point of having a day for it. I am happy to be a mother EVERY day. I don't need people to congratulate me, I am happy enough already. Give your love and hugs and gifts to those without a baby to snuggle with.

We can say, "Happy Women's day." We can celebrate all types- Those who have children, those who lost their children, those who choose not to have children, those who are not ready yet, those who are having trouble, those who cannot have children, and all others. All Women are wonderful and powerful. You don't need to have babies to prove it.

Rachael

P.S. Thanking your own mother for having you and raising you is good too. Parenting is hard and wonderful. =)