Picture Update

I worked on it most of the day today (to which Kylie did not approve,) but I got all our pictures sorted and edited! All from the camera and both phones, yay! All the pictures are on my G+ account, just call/message me for access. Here are some of my favorites:

3-3-14

4-21-14

5-13-14

5-18-14
Kylie gets her first Tablet! I borrow it a lot.

6-26-14

6-26-14

7-20-14

7-29-14
Helping put away diaper laundry

7-31-14
Breastfeeding in public, like usual

8-1-14
Playing "toybox" on the sofa next to me

8-9-14
Good shot of Kylie's eyes

8-15-14
Drinking some PB Chocolate Love with me

8-23-14
We ran out of regular soymilk for Kylie's night cereal, so we used
chocolate soymilk instead. She was happy with this.

8-30-14
One of the very rare times I caught her with the binky in her mouth.

9-2-14
Kylie's favorite house toy! It teaches opposites.

9-7-14
About to make cookies together

This is my sister Bianca...

... and this is the look-alike doll I crocheted for her. 9-19-14

9-21-14

9-21-14
I had FINALLY just finished knitting that rainbow blanket Kylie is wearing.
We both love it!

10-5-14
Sneaky face! This is Kylie's "about to get into trouble" face

10-6-14
Kylie LOVES pepperonis and cheese

10-11-14

10-26-14

10-26-14
Kylie was very proud of herself for getting on top of the box to see over the fence

10-26-14
My Halloween pumpkin!

10-30-14
Halloween Party!
I was sick 10-31 actually, so I am glad we went to a party the night before.
Kylie's friend Nikita's mom sewed the bodys and flippers and I crocheted the feet and hats.
Kylie is not wearing her hat because it was too warm, she stole my horns instead. =)

11-16-14
Kylie "brushing" her teeth while we get ready for bed.

11-10-14
First time in a stroller! We always wore her in the Baby bjorn before,
but now that she is close to 20 lbs it is getting hard.
She seems to really like the stroller now though, since she is already used to being a part of conversations.

11-21-14
We went to the midnight release of Pokemon Omega Ruby and Alpha Sapphire!

11-28-14
Being lazy on Daddy

As I said up top, there are many more pictures, all of which you can see on my G+ if you are in my circles. Just add me or message me and I will add you =)

Rachael

Holidays for Kylie!

I am pagan. This means I celebrate Yule (winter solstice, usually the night of Dec 21) rather than Christmas. To me, this has evolved to actually mean that Yule is a small family unit holiday, and Christmas is what we celebrate with extended family.

That being out of the way, the subject of this blog post- What presents does Kylie want for the holidays? No one should feel obligated to get Kylie anything. She has lots of toys already. But for those who want to get something, I made this.

Kylie likes:

• Blue. If she has a choice of colors, Kylie usually goes for the blue one.
• Lots of parts. Kylie particularly likes toys that have a bunch of things that can be put into/taken out of a container.
• Sound effects. Originally when Kylie was a tiny baby I said I didn't want her to have any toys that make sounds/music. We have a few toys like that anyways, and they are Kylie's favorites. 
• Flippable pages. She likes turning pages back and forth. In traditional board books and also in toys.
• French! Kylie has been learning french (via me talking and disney movies,) so any toys that speak french are great! We only have one- a Baby Einstein piano.
• 12-18 month toys. Kylie is quite advanced for her age, and so toys directed at her age group do not go over as well as toys directed to the one above her.

A few ideas:

• LeapFrog Letter Factory Phonics and Numbers
• Fisher-Price Peek-a-Blocks. She has a few hand-me-downs and LOVES them. They come in lots of varieties.
• Fisher Price Little People A to Z Learning Zoo Playset
• Duplos. We have a collection going already. She cannot actually play with them yet though.
• Big buttons! I am collecting big (2in+) plastic buttons of various shapes and colors to put into a bag to play with. It helps with finger dexterity.
• Gift cards! Always an easy option. Toys R Us is good, Carters (clothes) is good, Amazon is even better. =)

And some please don't gets:

• Play food/kitchen. We want food to always be real food, and if she wants to help cook she can help for real.
• Stuffed animals. I feel like we are drowning in them already.
• Walkers. She can almost walk on her own.

As always, if you are unsure about something, feel free to call me and ask! Particularly if you think she might have it already. 

Rachael

Life gets crazy

Kylie is 10 months old now and doing AMAZING! She is cruising everywhere and can even take a few steps on her own. She understands simple phrases and will sometimes repeat them to me. "All done." "Come over here." "Not in the mouth." etc. Her giggles are the best sound in the world. Her dancing to music is just about the cutest thing too.

As always, Kylie comes first our (George and my) life. Sometimes to the detriment of ourselves. Things have gotten a little crazy and life decided to flip upside down for us. George lost his job about a month ago. I feel like we have discussed every possible direction for us to go after that. Should we stay in Cali where our friends are? Go to Texas to be near my family? Virginia to be near his family? Massachusetts where we were before? Apply places and go wherever they take us? After lots of thought and introspection we decided to go back to Virginia for now.

Marya has graciously offered for us to stay in the big house until we can/want to afford to get our own place. George's old company is possibly looking for remote workers, so we are hoping to get in on that. A period of time with George working but not needing to pay ridiculous rent will be very nice. Our bank account is not so happy with how our life has been lately. I am very much looking forward to Kylie getting to know her family. And the house- I LOVE that house. It has a properly sized kitchen (you could ballroom dance in it!) and a huge pantry space. The giant room (living room/dining room) has huge windows all around to let in natural light and to see the beautiful trees. 

Because of all this life-crazyness, I have neglected things like uploading the TONS of pictures of Kylie from my camera and phone. I will do that eventually. I know everyone wants to see Kylie =)

Rachael

Almost 6 months!

Kylie is the most important person in my world, and the same is true for George. No matter what we have been going through, she is ALWAYS put first. Not just for things like feeding and diaper changes, but also playtime and walks and working on skill sets. Sometimes I think if I loved her any more I might explode. =) I LOVE HER SO MUCH! She gets showered with hugs, cuddles, and kisses throughout the day, every day. Here are some things she does/likes now at almost 6 months old. 

One of her favorite things to do now is stand up (with help.) 

She has been eating solid foods for a bit now (since she was 4 months old.) Sometimes I give her a smashed up version of whatever we are eating, and sometimes she gets standard baby food. Her favorites- Indian food (with spicyness!), tomato basil pesto, guacamole, and sweet potatoes. We tried a "normal" sippy cup with her, but she usually swallows a bunch of air because she doesn't turn it upside down. I got her a straw sippy cup instead and she LOVES it. She drinks water (she likes it with ice) all the time now. Sometimes she has juice, but she really likes water.

Kylie now can roll back-to-front and front-to-back on both sides, even with a toy in hand! 

She also started TALKING! The things I have heard her say:

• "Hi"

• "Hey" 

• "I luh" and "I luh t" Kylie version of "I love you" and "I love you too"

• "Mmm Mmm" Which can mean "Mommy" or "Noms" (We call breastmilk noms)

• "Daduh" 

• "Acha" She called me this first, which is "Rachael." she started saying Mommy a few days later

• "Mommmmmmma" Kylie likes to draw out that second m in Mommy

• "Liza" When addressing Liza

• "Wa wah" Asking for her water cup

• "Cah hee" Asking for sips of George's coffee (I have no idea why she likes it so much, and she only ever gets a few sips once it's cooled.)

Kylie gets mad when people put things in their mouths and she doesn't get to taste it. She will taste something at least 3-4 times before deciding she doesn't like it. (Which is AWESOME!) 

If you kiss her a bunch she sometimes giggles. 

Sometimes after kissing her we can ask "Can I have kisses too?" and she will put her open mouth on a cheek and say "Muh." They get very wet, but it's SUPER adorable! Although, she doesn't like kissing George unless he is freshly shaven.

We have been swimming a few times, and she seems to like it. She has a floatie she sits in with her bottom half in the water, and she likes to kick her feet to move around a bit. She likes when we "swim" around the pool. She has not been underwater in the pool.

She continues to LOVE showers.

Kylie had a lot of fun playing with her auntie B in June.

She loves when we sing songs, particularly ones she recognizes. Her favorites-

• The Itsy Bitsy Spider (Mr. Mike's version, which is longer)
• Twinkle Twinkle Little Star (SMBC version, which is MUCH better)
• Going Through the Motions (From Buffy)
• The Ants Go Marching (in which we take turns making rhymes for what the ants do when they stop)
• 99 Bottles of Juice (in which we take turns saying how many bottles are taken down and then everyone does math quickly to continue, ex. 86 bottles of juice on the wall, 86 bottles of Juice, you take 8 down, pass 'um around, 78 bottles of juice on the wall)
• The Alphabet Song, with ASL signs (slightly modified to give each letter the same about of time- L, M, N, O, P is slower to not sound like one letter, and I end it with "Y and Z" with Z being a lower note that resolves the song, so the stupid end is taken off)
• Let's Make a Rainbow (Carebears song)
• My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic theme song (most of the songs from MLP: FIM actually)

Kylie has her own computer, it's a Samsung Galaxy Note Tablet that we named "Gala." I borrow it sometimes to play with. It's great for in the car- she can play all sorts of cool games that have things that flash on the screen when it's touched. 

And finally, some closing comments from the Baby herself! (Since she has been trying to grab my keyboard for the last 15 minutes.)

6+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++8596x ++++++++++++++++++++++++++++hhhhhhhhhttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttbk xbdqjdjqhqh 47777777777777777777777/*//777777777777777777777777giii+i 2.........................w /

  .iikxdknnnnnnnnnnnnnn,,,

Rachael & Kylie

Blahness

Blahness- That is about what I feel like most days. People need an update on our lives, and after putting it off for a few weeks, I have convinced myself to actually talk about it. Firstly, Kylie is doing excellent and she is an AMAZING baby! I love her more than anything else in the whole world, and she is always taken care of and loved and kissed. More on that later. George and I, on the other hand, have had some issues... 

Me

My doctor diagnosed me with PPD and started me on medication before I even realized anything was wrong. I few days after seeing her I really started to notice the things she was talking about, and I was glad I was already starting getting help. The details are not as important right now- the gist of it is that it SUCKS and as much as I love Kylie, I also wanted to go crawl into a hole and die. It's very hard for people to really understand what it is like, but trust me I wanted to "get over it" and "suck it up" more than anyone, but it just doesn't work that way. The first diagnosis was on May 17, and I am just now starting to come out the other side. 

I had back pain and a migraine most days, and as my doctor put it, "it's hard to tell if the pain is causing PPD or PPD causing pain." Part of how I coped with still being able to pick myself up off the floor to take care of and play with Kylie, was taking Oxy. Every time Kylie would cry for me and I felt like I would rather die than get up, I took an Oxy. (My doctor said this was okay.) It improved my mood 1000x and I would play and laugh and walk around, etc. I am quite aware it was a band-aid on the problem, but I was also starting anti-depressants, they can just take a while to work. 

This is all I will say about the Oxy usage: I was taking a little, which went up to a lot, which went up to a bunch. Kylie and I both went though some terrible withdraw back down to a little. Working on getting it to none, but that might not happen for a while. Do I regret it? No, not at all. Was/Am I addicted? In the biological sense, yes, because I went through withdraw going back down. In the psychological sense, no, I never felt like I couldn't live without it. I was/am in a better mood with it, but that is because feeling the full pain of a migraine sucks and makes me irritable. My doctors know all the reasons I take it, and they are okay with it.

George

I was not that great to be left alone with Kylie, because there was a 30 minute delay between "I WANT TO DIE, oh I guess I should take Oxy." and "Yay! Let's play!" So George took some of his paternity leave to be with me until I was a bit more stable. He was pretty much always on call for helping with me and helping with Kylie. He was also trying to keep the house in a decent state of cleanness (because dirty gives me more anxiety). 

As people who know George are probably aware, he has his own struggles with depression, so he knew exactly what I was going through. Unfortunately, I am his rock that keeps him stable and gets him help when he needs it before things get bad. He was busy helping me, and adding a bunch more stress in his life, while I was busy trying to take care of myself and Kylie. So... George started spiraling down into depression once again. We got him into a psychiatrist as soon as we could, and started back on medication. 

Combination

The big issues comes with the fact that BOTH of us were (are) struggling at the same time, AND we have a baby. Our support system out here in California is basically non-existent. For the last two months or so, it has been about like this: 

• I start to get a little better! 
• George starts to crash.
• I use all my energy keeping up with chores, loving and taking care of Kylie, and helping George get stable.
• George is starting to get better!
• I start to crash because I used so much energy.
• George uses all his energy to keep up with chores, loving and taking care of Kylie, and helping me get stable.
• I start to get better!
• George starts to crash because he used so much energy.

You can see why this is a problem... Overall things to get better, just very slowly. When we seem like we actually are finding a stable point for all of us, life throws stuff at us that starts it over again. (That happened twice so far.)

Kyile

Kylie is the most important person in my world, and the same is true for George. No matter what we have been going through, she is ALWAYS put first. Not just for things like feeding and diaper changes, but also playtime and walks and working on skill sets. Stay tuned for my next blog post- all about Kylie!

Conclusion

George and I are slowly, VERY SLOWLY, getting better. A support system would be a pretty great thing for us, and it would have made this issue way easier in the first place. I have not posted on social media for a while now- At first it was because I was just so blah and didn't care. After a while though, I was waiting to see how long it would take for someone to wonder where I was and if I was okay... on the 4 different sites I frequent, only on one did someone ask about me. 

Anyways, I'm getting there. Slowly. Maybe next week I will actually upload the TONS of pictures I have of Kylie. =)

Rachael

Woman's Day

Today is "Mother's Day" to most people. Last year I decided that it's a stupid holiday and I would no longer celebrate it. Lets make it "Women's day" instead. 

Last year on this day, we were in the middle of our 6th fertility cycle. I was getting daily shots of FSH to try to make an egg for a chance to be a mother. I was upset because I was convinced that it would not work and we would need to go to IVF, and maybe I would even need to have an egg donor. All I wanted, more than anything else, was to have a baby. Almost every time I left my house or went online in early May last year were reminders of how I was not a mother. There were pictures of cute kids, and people congratulating others on their reproductive capabilities. It hurt. It hurt a lot. 

Have you ever had a time when you felt like your soul was being crushed? That's kinda what infertility feels like. Every fertility cycle you imagine your egg meeting up with a sperm and becoming a beautiful baby that will became a wonderful person. Then when you get a negative test, that theoretical child dies. Most people don't really understand the scope of that. People kept telling me things like, "Well, maybe next time." or "It will happen eventually." My baby DIED. Why would people act like nothing had happened? 

Anyways, back to the point of this blog post. When you wish someone (in public), "Happy Mother's Day" you are crushing the souls of people who want more than anything to be a mother who might hear you. You are shoving it in their face all day long. A lot of infertiles refuse to leave the house on Woman's day because it hurts too much. 

Now that I am on the other side and this year I am a mother, I still don't see the point of having a day for it. I am happy to be a mother EVERY day. I don't need people to congratulate me, I am happy enough already. Give your love and hugs and gifts to those without a baby to snuggle with.

We can say, "Happy Women's day." We can celebrate all types- Those who have children, those who lost their children, those who choose not to have children, those who are not ready yet, those who are having trouble, those who cannot have children, and all others. All Women are wonderful and powerful. You don't need to have babies to prove it.

Rachael

P.S. Thanking your own mother for having you and raising you is good too. Parenting is hard and wonderful. =)

Energizer Bunny

I keep wanting to post more, but.. Well, being a (good) parent is a lot like being the energizer bunny. You have to keep going and going and going. When Kylie falls asleep and I am not rushing to clean dishes or clothes and I FINALLY have a minute to sit down by myself, blogging is not the first thing on my mind. I tell myself things like, "Well, after I catch up with everyone (G+, ravelry, facebook) and call this place then I will start a blog post to update everyone." Then I usually don't even have a chance to do all the proceeding stuff before Kylie wakes up. Like just now. I love having a baby and staying at home, but it doesn't leave much time for much else =P Now I have to feed the baby.

Rachael

Smiles

Things are going well with everyone over here so far. Kylie is becoming more active and awake, and knows who we are! The best part- she started smiling for me =D Next post I will go into details about our lives at almost 2 months. =)

Rachael

Body Image

Quick side note: I think I will be posting here much more often, because it's quite annoying posting in 4 places so everyone can see it. You can all just visit here and I will put thoughts/updates/pictures all in one place =)

Before I was pregnant, 9-month pregnant women looked HUGE. When I was 9 months pregnant, I kept thinking I looked so tiny compared to what I "should" look like. Then I would see old pictures of me and see my flat belly and it just... didn't look like me at all. Actually, any pictures of women with flat bellies looked weird. Like eerie and abnormal. Then now that Kylie is out, things changed again. I saw a picture of me 9 months pregnant, and I looked huge! It doesn't look like me, my belly was never that big or round! I can't remember having a giant belly anymore. My body image seems to be all over the place O.o

I look so huge and round!
01-13-14

Rachael

One week!

Kylie is now one week old! Well ok, I meant to do this yesterday. She is actually 8 days old today =P All three of us have learned a lot over the last week and things are going pretty smoothly now.

Temperature

The first day at home we had it at 75F in the apartment, which is pretty standard for us. Kylie kept crying when she was put down for a bit, and she would feel a little cold, even with blankets and clothes on. Since she was technically a little bit preemie and they have trouble with temperature regulation, we figure she was just cold. So we made it 80F in here. After that she seemed much better! We decided that we will lower it by one degree a week starting next week until we get back to normal temperatures in here. It might seem weird to some people, or like we are being crazy, but it seems to work and it doesn't bother us. =)

Big Smile!
02-04-14

Sleeping

The first 2 nights Kylie was home, we put her in her crib at night. When she would cry we would pick her up and calm her down and then put her back. About 30 minutes later she would cry again. Halfway through the 2nd night I gave up and put her in the bed with us. George and I were both getting sleep deprived and that was no fun. We sleep with only a sheet now, because it's 80F in here, so there is little risk of Kylie being suffocated by that. She sleeps at a level below the pillows and between us. The only potential risk would be one of us rolling onto her, which is not really possible. George doesn't ever move in his sleep and I become aware and awake when I move around at night. There is also something really satisfying about waking up to looking at and smelling your baby beside you <3 We still practice self-soothing in the swing a few times each day, and we plan on transitioning to the crib over the next 2 months or so, starting with things like 3 hours a night, then 6 hours a night, etc.

02-02-14

Clothes

We have a bunch of really cute baby clothes we bought or people gave us. I think she wore 2 outfits before I decided that was a silly idea. First of all, she gets everything gross and changes clothes a lot during the day. Second, a lot of those cute outfits are long-sleeved. Long sleeves does not mean "warmer" like you might expect. It means "colder" because they are covered in slobber all day. Unless it's a sleeper at night, she doesn't suck on her hands much then. Third, a lot of them include pants. Pants are OBNOXIOUS with diaper changes. We don't wear pants. At nighttime, Kylie wears a sleeper with a wool sleep sack over it. In the daytime, Kylie wears a T-shirt (not a onesie, those make her look weird with her cloth diaper butt, but sometimes she just wears a onesie unsnapped) and socks. The socks fall off 10+ times a day, but we just put them back on her. We have some plain colored shirts from American Apparel that she wears. Clothes just need to be soft and functional. I also don't like hats. When we are outside and it's cold, sure. But I like seeing her hair and smelling her head too much to wear hats inside =) Kylie also hates being swaddled. I thought all babies were supposed to like it, but she really likes her hands.

Missing a sock... again.
02-02-14

Feeding

After the disastrous incident at the hospital, we figured out a system. (At the hospital I let her sleep too long and she was too hungry to sleep and too sleepy to eat, which was terrible.) Every 3 hours Kylie gets a diaper change and then nurses. To make this simple for us, it's just every multiple of 3: Midnight, 3am, 6am, 9am, noon, 3pm, 6pm. 9pm. I tried nursing first, but she is usually too sleepy. The diaper change usually wakes her up enough to want to eat, and it's always wet anyways. 

02-02-14

Schedule

Our diaper/feeding schedule is above. Kylie and I go down for the night between midnight and 3am, depending on what I am feeling like. George takes her from bed at 3am and 6am and changes her diaper and gives her back to me to nurse and go back to sleep. He goes to bed after the 6am change. We started this because sometimes she gets really fussy sometime between 3 and 5am, so this way George is awake to rock and soothe her back to sleep. Depending on who is more sleepy/awake, we take turns doing the 9am diaper change. Then at noon I get up and take my meds, get food, fill my water bottle, and go to the bathroom before getting Kylie up. That is when we start our "daytime," which means she goes from the sleeper in bed to a T-shirt in my lap/her swing. I let George just sleep until I need him or he decides to wake up. Sometimes I put Kylie back into bed with him so I can take a shower. 

02-03-14

Awake Time

Babies sleep a LOT. Kylie does have some awake time each day though. It tends to be after her noon, 6pm, and midnight feedings. But not the 6am one. So I guess she has some sort of 24-hour schedule? Anyways, she likes to make faces and look around during awake time. Depending on what we are doing, I usually either put her on her playtime mat for some "tummy time" to help strengthen her neck muscles, hold her black and white striped letter G 10 inches away from her face to promote eye development, or stare at her and talk to her so she can learn my face and voice. 

02-03-14

Mommy vs Daddy

Mommy is better at- face snuggles into boobs, feeding, being a human pillow, and bedtime snuggles. Daddy is better at- diaper changes, helping with burping, guessing what Kylie wants, and having infinite patience with a screaming baby.

02-04-14

How is Mommy/Rachael doing?

I am doing well. I am still really sore all over, particularly in the nether regions. I only had one small tear though, so it's not too bad. I find that Kylie's smell is a very addictive drug. I cannot really function when she is in a different room from me, I NEED her near me. It also makes me nervous when other people hold her. George carried her in the moby wrap to the store yesterday, so it's getting better! My boobs are very full of milk, which feels weird, but it's not too bad. Latching sometimes hurts, but only for a few seconds. Most of my remaining discomfort is due to my hips and back re-aligning, which gets better each day.

02-02-14

How is Daddy/George doing?

I wish I could get him to post himself, but he never seems to want to. He seems to be doing great! He keeps saying things like, "Why do people say changing diapers is so bad? Does it get harder? This is not bad at all." Sometimes he steals Kylie from my lap so he can cuddle with her for a while. He is really good at soothing her when she is upset, unless she just wants me, in which case he can't do much. He has already started talking about when we can have another one! So overall, I think he is really good at this whole "dad" thing and we both still want lots of kids =)

02-05-14

Overall

We are all doing really well, no one is sleep deprived, and we both get to change clothes and take showers every day. I don't know if we just lucked out with an easy baby, or we are just really good at this, but I don't feel like it's that hard being a new parent. It's different, and we had to learn Kylie's signals for what she wants, but after day 3 we pretty much had that covered. We had to get over the fact that you sometimes have to drop whatever you are doing to take care of her, but we expected that. We have walked to the store with Kylie in the moby wrap most days since she has been home, and she is always really calm and content. I thought pregnancy and labor were both way easier than people made them sound as well, so maybe people just exaggerate a lot =P

Moby wrap for outside exploration!
02-02-14

02-02-14

Rachael

Kylie Cecilia Washington!

Kylie was born 1-30-14 at 6:11pm, 20 hours after my water broke. She was 6lbs 13oz and 20in long. She has passed all her tests and is really good at nursing =)

Ready to go home

Early Labor

I was in early/stalled labor for 21 days! Almost every morning I woke up to painful, regular contractions. I would take pain meds and they would eventually go away until I got up to walk or stand, then they were back again. I was in the Labor and Delivery department of the hospital a lot to make sure things were still going well. Over the 21 days I lost my mucous plug, became 3cm dilated, and 50% effaced. I was getting pretty fed up with the process. Who is in labor for that long!? It hurt, and I felt miserable, but there was nothing to be done about it until her due date. George stayed home from work most days to be with me, as neither of us wanted me to be alone is early labor. It was nice having a lot of time together as a family of 2 =)

My last belly picture! 1-25-14

Water Breaking

On Wednesday, 1-29-14, I was really sleepy. I also had a bit of an anxiety issue that morning about feeling like it would never be over. My doula suggested I stop making pain meds when the contractions start, as that might be stalling them. So I didn't take any that afternoon. I took a nap from 7pm-10pm, and I woke up to my water leaking. It was not really a gushing break, just a slow constant leak. So exciting! Finally almost over! I was hungry, so I asked George to make spaghetti so I could eat one last meal at home before going into the hospital. I was hanging out in the shower since everything was hurting, while George made food. I didn't want to get out of the shower, so he turned the water off and I just ate sitting in there. It looked a bit silly, but it was comfy =) After that, George started packing last minute things into the hospital bag. We were out of nutter butters! I have basically lived off of those for the last few weeks of pregnancy. I need snacks for my hypoglycemia and those are the only things that ever sounded good. So I got out of the shower and we walked to the store, since I needed to be walking to progress labor anyways. Contractions started to get worse, so we headed to the hospital.

Spaghetti in the shower!

Hospital

We got there at 2am. The nurses were trying to be really pushy about giving me pitocin to progress faster, but I wanted to at least try on my own. They kept saying how much of a risk of infection there is if Kylie is not born within 24 hours of my water breaking. I kept telling them that it was only 4 hours so far, and there was a ways to go before talking induction. I was entirely pain-med free for a LONG time. I layed in the shower, (in my room!) walked around, bounced on the birth ball, and talked a lot. I let George and Liza get some sleep in the wee hours of the morning while my doula and I went into the hallway for massage and birth ball bouncing. I had on a wireless monitor the whole time so they could keep track of Kylie's heart and my contractions. I even wore it in the shower! It was super awesome. At one point I asked the OB about pain meds, and he said they would have to be through IV, so I decided to tough it out some more. Now is where time gets a bit fuzzy, I have on idea when things happened exactly. The contractions were getting really painful, and time was running out, so I got an IV with pitocin and pain meds. The pain meds worked, but they were short-lived and I as told each dose is less effective. Once the first one was wearing off, I was so exhausted that I was sleeping between contractions. Waking up to THAT evry few mites was getting unbearable very fast. I noticed I was clenching up when one would start, and I would try to relax, but it was really hard. It that rate, I would never progress, so I decided to get the epidural. My main argument against an epidural was that it can cause issues when it's cold outside. I have determined that it was/is TOTALLY worth it for me. Everything was so much more pleasant after it was put in. Rather than dreading contractions when they would wake me up, I didn't feel them much at all and I could sleep. I slept for a bit, and talked for a bit. Eventually a nurse checked me and said I was complete! They gave me an hour for her to drop more before pushing. The doula and Liza left and let George and I have our last time together as just a couple. =)

Ready for walking around at the hospital

The Birth

Right before we started pushing, my room FILLED with people and everyone was moving me and putting things on me and it was quite overwelming. I didn't really know what was going on, and I was trying not to think about how many people were around so I could stay calm. I later found out what happened was that Kylie's cord was wrapped around her neck so her heart rate was dropping. Once they put me on my other side and put an oxygen mask on with deep breaths it came back up. Then it was pushing time! Pushing felt... weird. I don't really know how to explain it. It's a weird sensation, and quite uncomfortable, but with the epidural it was not painful. Towards the end they had to use something to help get her out, because of the cord issue. But she came out and started screaming. They put her on my chest all very slimy and purple and screaming. I was just crying. I don't even know why, I think everything was just really overwhelming. George was crying too =) After a good long while they took her off me and cleaned both of us up and weighed her. They took out the epidural, and we got transferred to the Mother-Baby unit.

Skin-to-skin right after she came out

Mother-Baby Unit

In general our stay was good. I was thinking about trying to go home right away, but I am glad we stayed. I had a bit of a meltdown one of the nights when Kylie was really hungry and really sleepy at the same time. This resulted in her being too sleepy to eat, but too hungry to sleep, which just resulted in inconsolable screaming. The nurse helped me manually pump "milk" into a spoon and feed it to her so she could sleep. Apparently this issue occurred because I was just letting her sleep until she woke up, which was too long between feedings. I was tired too! Anyways, we got that worked out and now we wake up every 3 hours to eat and it works MUCH better. =)

Eyes open!

My birth experience thoughts

My birth plan was pretty simple and flexible. I wanted delayed cord clamping, which became a mostly moot point with a cord issue as we had, immediate skin-to-skin, which I got, and I wanted to labor naturally as long as possible, which I did. I was pretty adamant about not wanting an epidural, but I had considered it in the case of no progression due to the pain. That is why I ended up getting it in the end, and I am happy with my choice. I was getting to the point that I was dreading contractions and the thought of pushing sounded miserable, which I decided was not a good state of mind to be in for birthing a baby. I was much happier and George was much less stressed after I got the epidural put in. I also didn't really want an IV because I was worried it would ruin my experience. When they did end up wanting to give me one (for pain meds and pitocin) they wanted to put it in my hand, to which I said "NO NO NO!" I knew if it was anywhere that is not the "normal" place for an IV it would seriously gross me out and I would be unhappy. That seems to be the only place the nurses really didn't want to put it, and they went and fetched the anesthesiologist to put it in for them. Once it was in I barley noticed it, so that went over well. Overall I got everything I wanted, even if it seems like I gave things up in the end. All of it was my choice, and I don't regret any of it. =)

There are a TON of pictures still on the camera. I am working on starting to sort through and upload them. Kylie's Flikr set can be found here.

Home and happy =)

Rachael