My Little Brother

For those of you who are not aware, I have a little brother. He 4.5 years younger than me. When he was born I protected him and took care of him (or tried at least). When we were young we fought like most siblings do. When we started getting older, our interests started actually lining up a bit, and we got along. He got me into Pokemon and Runescape and I got him into guitar. When I was 14 and ran away from my dads house, I took him with me. We both ended up living at our moms not long after that and we started actually hanging out more. When none of his friends were over and none of mine were online, we would hang out in his room playing guitar and talking about science things. I tried to encourage him in his guitar playing and programming. Senior year we connected a lot more, being much closer in interest groups. Then I went to college 250 miles away. 

My freshman year was really difficult for me emotionally. I was taking 18 hours and ended up with a 3.89 GPA, but I felt like I had SO MUCH free time, it was boring. People would try to help by asking, "Well, what did you do in your free time last year?" I would go hang out with my brother, or do crafts with my little sister (at the time, she was 4). I discovered new games via my brother and we played them together (Pokemon, WoW, Spyro, Mortal Kombat). I had no one left to take care of and protect, only equals. Then when I learned my sister was acting out in school, and my brother started failing, it got worse. They needed me there, I wanted to go home. I stuck with it, knowing that I needed a college degree, and I did grow as a person, but it still hurts to know all the time I lost. 

Right after college, I got married and moved really close to my family for a few months. It was so cool seeing them and helping Zach figure out college stuff. He somehow became the SUPER popular kid at school without trying at all. He was Prom King... It was nice to be around, but even more sad when we left. Now I live in Massachusetts, which is SO FAR AWAY! It made it slightly easier knowing that Zach was not at home anyways, he was at college. Over Thanksgiving I started noticing how much he has changed and really become his own person. My little brother is not so little anymore!

I talked to my mom over the holidays, and apparently Zach brought all his stuff back home and said he was not going back to college. He failed most of his classes and he felt like it was not worth going deep into debt when he thinks he will fail again. I talked to George and asked a bit about the Computer Science field... you HAVE to have at least a bachelors to do anything. So Zach needs a degree, but he did not like Texas State for whatever reason. I called him and gave him his choices- Pack his stuff back up and go back there and do better, take some classes at the nearest community college (~30 minutes, and it sucks) and get a job, or come move in with George and me. (Grammatically, George and me right there is correct. Just saying.) His reaction was something like, "Well, moving is obviously the best choice for me, so I guess that is what we should do." I really thought there would be more... argument?

At this point you might be thinking, "How does that help?" Lots of reasons.
1. When I would call him every now and then and ask how classes were going, we would say he was failing and George or I would help him through it. That was really useful, but he fails to call me when he needs help. He will only accept when help is offered. If he is here, we can help.
2. He has ADHD. I know this, he knows this, it is obvious. Medication helps him a lot, but he is one of those people that needs someone to say, "Your appointment is Friday at 10am, be there." Our mom is not that person, and our dad is against medication. I can be that person. If he chooses not to take medicine that is totally fine as well, but we cannot ignore the ADHD to hope it goes away. Yoga and meditation along with a doctors note to record all lectures is a good start. He can get on Mass health here and actually see a doctor.
3. The reason he chose Texas state in the first place was his friends. I think he just did not "click" with it for some reason. The plan here is getting an associates in Computer Science at the community college ~15 minutes away in 2 years. There are rules in Mass that say all public colleges in the state have to accept them, and University of Mass Lowell has exact transfer info from Middlesex Community College. He can have his choice of University to transfer to, and this time he can tour them and actually make a choice.
4. He hates that he had to take out a $14k loan for his first semester. He did not get any scholarships, and financial aid only covered his tuition at TSU. Dorms + Meal plan is expensive. Here he will be living in an apartment with George and me, where his room and food are not putting him into debt. MCC is way cheaper, and hopefully financial aid will cover most-all of it. UML is only 24 minutes from our apartment if he decides he wants to stay with us, or he could leave to live in a dorm/apartment =)
5. If he wants a part-time job, we live in a HUGE computer science area. He can get something way more worth-while than fast food.
6. George and Thomas are both wonderful role models for him. They can even help with CS competition stuff to help get him scholarships for university. George is happy to help with anything math/science/CS and probably pretty useful at History and English. I can help with the Psyc, French, and Music.
7. Lastly, this one is for me. I have had loneliness issues since we moved away, and having my little brother around will be SO helpful! Just thinking about all this and helping make plans has gotten me to clean the house and cook =P

I have a flight down to Texas on the 1st, and then we will head out with his car full of stuff (mostly music stuff) up to Mass. We have up to 2 weeks to get here, but I think it will only take 1 week. Then we get to all move into the new place together! We had an extra bedroom there for future babies, but that is at least 9 months out, so it is now Zach's room. We are not sure what will happen when there is a baby around. Move into a 3 bedroom or rent a house if he wants to stay, but none of us know if he will want to wake up to a baby =P Come to think of it, he would probably sleep through it.

My live has changed a LOT over the last week, in a very good way =)

Rachael

December Update

I have been feeling very BLAH lately. But it has been a month since I posted, so I guess I should.

I have been sort of lonely and depressed-ish lately because I am now home alone every day. George has a job, and is doing well, and I miss him =( I don't even get much stuff done around the house when he is gone, which makes me feel worse. I stopped taking my medicine last month, and I think it is really catching up to me. I am dizzy and tired and don't have energy to do anything now. Meh, maybe I should take it today. 

I posted in the Slytherin common room (its a knitting group thing...) about some of the issues I have had with lonelyness, and I was very impressed with how much support I have there, which actually made me feel a lot better. =D

I visited home for Thanksgiving, and that was a lot of fun to see everyone =) I wish I knew when I would see them all again. Living so far away is hard =/

George and I decided to try an IUI this (last) month rather than TI again. That was... uncomfortable, but not as bad as I feared. The doctor said he gives it a 45% chance to work for us, but each month that is fails that number goes down a lot. IVF has a 50% chance to work for us. Power of positive thinking! IT WILL WORK THIS TIME. I am taking next cycle off either way, because we are successful or because we are taking the next step and getting an HSG to check my tubes. Time will tell. 

I don't even know what else I want to post about. We are moving to a new townhouse/apartment once our lease is up here in January. I have a place picked out, but waiting to hear back that we can for sure more in there =)

Rachael

November is a good month

It is November! This is going to be a great month.
1. My birthday is on the 15! I will be 23. 
2. It gets COLD! Well, at least that was the rule in Texas, I think it might snow up here O.O
3. Thanksgiving! I get to see family without all the complications of presents or that I celebrate Yule and not Christmas. YUMMY FOODS! Oh and no one calls you fat for eating way too much. 
4. I am visiting home in Texas! George and I already got our plane tickets. I need ta take lots of pictures to make a "Texas vs Mass" blog post when I get back. (Like the flat landscape, and lack of trees compared to here. Maybe I can get a squirrel picture as well, they look different.)
5. I already finished all my shots this month, so I am just waiting for the test on the 12th to see if this month was a good one baby wise.
6. My SHOP is almost ready! I have all the entries in there and ready to go, the logo has been approved (FINALLY!) and now I am just waiting on the banner & logo final documents from the artist.
7. George had an interview yesterday, and it went well! It was with the company Thomas works at, the one we moved here for.

That is all I can think of right now. Also, I wanted to put the larger version of my avatar/ravatar somewhere so people can see it big. The photographer is working on the whole album now, after I finally gave him the list of what I wanted.

Rachael

Early Birthday Present!

I have been dyeing yarn for my shop lately. I started taking pictures of them, very necessary for a yarn shop.

Grape Harvest

Chocolate Covered Cherries

They look good, but the colors are... not always that spot on, especially in the purple.

So... I got this for an early birthday present today.

A REAL Camera!

My first REAL camera! It is a DSLR. The lens comes off and everything! George said he was ok with a fancy camera because he is attempting to re-kindle my love of photography that died 8 years ago when someone stole my camera. Here are the same yarns again.

Grape Harvest

Chocolate Covered Cherries

You can really see the color of the purple MUCH better. The detail is so much nicer as well. This was at night- it would be even better in the sunlight! I LOVE IT! I now have the requirement placed on me that I will take and upload at least one picture a day. I hope I can catch the AMAZING color of the trees here in the morning. They are so beautiful, nothing like it in Texas.

Rachael

Round 2

I noticed I had not posted for a while, and maybe someone out there is wondering what I am up to, so here goes. 

Last month of fertility treatment I took clomid for 7 days (I think it was 7). How does that medicine work? Well, first, you need to understand the beginning of a female cycle. The body produces estrogen until a part of the brain (pituitary) says that there is enough via some receptors. Well, my body was not producing enough, which is one of the reasons I was not ovulating. Clomid blocks the receptor in the pituitary from knowing there in enough estrogen, so the body produces more, thinking that the level has not yet been reached. After my taking this medicine for 7 days, my estrogen level was still too low. So I had to have 2 estrogen shots to increase it. After all that, I had 1 good follicle. Only 1. Well, that follicle did not decide to become an embryo, so I am back here again. This time, because of the failed experience with clomid, my doctor went straight to shots. 10 days of shots. Well, one thing happened from that so far- I got over my horrible fear of them out of necessity. 6 days into the shots, I went it to check my estrogen level, still too low! So now he has doubled my dose of shots. I think one problem is that my cycles are usually 5-6 weeks long, and they are forcing them to be 4 weeks. My body is used to producing the little estrogen it does manage around week 2-3, not 1-2. So I am just getting straight artificial hormones, rather than working with what my body can do. I guess it is all the same in the end. I have the next check in the morning (Tuesday) to see if this dose is good, or if I need even more. I don't even know what to think. Last month around this time my boobs were getting huge (that is very disconcerting actually, to have something about your appearance change so fast) and this month, not. I think I am a bit more crazy-like this month, but not quite as snappish.

If any of you are paying attention to what time this post is at, you can see I am a bit... nocturnal. I was back to a normal schedule earlier this week after lots of work. Then I woke up one morning, went downstairs, ate food, started knitting, and started developing a migraine. So I went back to sleep. I slept something like 18 hours in a 24 hour period, it was insane O.o It also completely ruined the work I had done to fix it -.- Now it sucks even more, because George is not awake at the same times as me, and it gets lonely. I will try to stay awake today and power through! (I said that yesterday as well...) This also can't be that good for trying to regulate my body's cycles, ugh. 

I have been dyeing LOTS OF YARN! Here is this months' work so far.

Still working with the graphic artist on the logo for my shop, but it is getting close. I also realized a few things I had no idea on how to do (like calculating shipping) and I am working those out. After dying 15 skeins this month, I can tell you I think I was meant to be a dyer. It is so satisfying, even after doing so many.

I have picked up Roller Coaster Tycoon as my new game I am obsessed with. Well, not so new. I have it on a Windows 95 virtual machine to get it to play right =P I remember some of the levels being hard as a kid, and they are not all that hard now. 

Time for food, and back to knitting while listening to my book- Wheel of Time Book 4.

Rachael

Yarn Dying!

George and I spent a lot of last week seeing Liza down in Virginia. We dyed yarn together and ate food and she got us started on Dr Who. Here are Pictures! (As you might have guessed, this is way picture heavy.)

Getting Everything Set Up

Liza's (Future) Rainbow

Both of us space dying!

Liza doing her Rainbow

Liza's Rainbow again

Packing it up to be steamed

Still Packing

Yay Rainbow!

Rainbow Steaming

Rainbow and Pink/Purple out of the steamer

Setting up for round 2

Rainbow out of steamer again

Turquoise kettle dying

Turquoise kettle dying again

Liza dying across the skein for a dark manly colorway

Rainbow cooling off

Chocolate Brown kettle dying

Rainbow and turquoise sharing a bath

Bathing my Rainbow

My rainbow soaking

Liza's Rainbow hanging to dry

Pink/Purple and chocolate sharing a bath

Both rainbows drying

Chocolate, Turquoise, and the dark manly one drying

Purple/Blue Kettle variegated dying

Purple/Blue Kettle variegated dying again

All the space dyed ones hanging to dry in the bathroom

Make-shift niddy noddy I was going to re-skein on, but the yarn was too tangled

Purple/Blue Kettle variegated round 1 complete

Starting Round 2

Liza adding more dye

Me observing Liza add more dye

Finished Dark manly colorway- Liza

Finished Pink/Purple for Bianca- Mine

Rainbow- Liza

Double Rainbow- Mine, this was also the only worsted weight

Purple/Blue Jewel tones- Liza

Liza drew an idea for the shop logo!

Rachael

Shots

Ferlility Treatment

I hate shots. I can do blood draws and IVs, but I HATE shots. I knew this month of doing the clomid cycle I would need a shot, and I dreaded it. Then yesterday they decided I need at least 3. AHH! The appointment determined that I have a lot of follicles maturing, but my E2 (Estrodiol) level is way too low. It is 140 and ideally it should be 200-300 for each mature egg. So I am now having to get Gonal-F shots, which increase my E2. Then Monday I have more tests to determine where I stand. Maybe more E2 shots, maybe time for the trigger shot to release eggs and make ovulation occur. 

As far as side effects of clomid, it was not that bad. I was a little more touchy emotionally. As in, it was much easier to get annoyed/upset over things. Then there was the completely unexplainable crying at one point. George kept saying he did not understand, but neither did I O.o I should still be getting the symptoms from it all month, because it increased my estrogen. Bleh.

George

George is now officially off his meds, and surprisingly, but amazingly, he is MUCH better. He said that his head feels more clear than it has in the past year and a half. I am trying to convince him to make a post here so people will stop bugging me about never hearing his side... He is thinking about (nothing has happened yet) applying to more jobs in Boston, starting with Ratheon. 

Gaming

I voiced my desire to play a game a few days ago, so George decided I was going to play Torchlight with him. So Now I have a steam account (messymouse) and he gifted Torchlight 2 to me. I have an embermage who is now level 20 =) This game is totally what Diablo 3 should have been, but D3 sucked. I hate feeling like I am in a beta. 'Oh so you know that attack speed you were stacking, we cut it in half because it was too powerful. Now you will really not be able to win. Carry on.' I am sticking to my previous rule of 4 hrs a day though. Well, unless I am in the middle of something, I can finish it.

Books

As many of you know, I am an avid audiobook listener. Harry Potter read by Stephen Fry is my ALL TIME FAVORITE. I think I am at 7 complete series listens now. Anyways, I have tried Wheel of Time again, this time while taking notes. I LOVE it! The biggest problem I had was keeping track of characters, but as I was taking notes I noticed that almost everyone has 3 names/titles and it randomly uses all of them. That made it so much easier! So now I am on book 3 of the series, and I think I will see it through all 12 and maybe #13 will be out before then (Jan '13 I think). Then George and I always have something we are listening to together for long car trips or just want to spend time together doing a puzzle or something. We just started Game of Thrones again. The first time I found it confusing and hard to keep track of what was going on. This time, I took notes and even without that, I have no idea what the problem was. We are liking it =)


Rachael