Shots

Ferlility Treatment

I hate shots. I can do blood draws and IVs, but I HATE shots. I knew this month of doing the clomid cycle I would need a shot, and I dreaded it. Then yesterday they decided I need at least 3. AHH! The appointment determined that I have a lot of follicles maturing, but my E2 (Estrodiol) level is way too low. It is 140 and ideally it should be 200-300 for each mature egg. So I am now having to get Gonal-F shots, which increase my E2. Then Monday I have more tests to determine where I stand. Maybe more E2 shots, maybe time for the trigger shot to release eggs and make ovulation occur. 

As far as side effects of clomid, it was not that bad. I was a little more touchy emotionally. As in, it was much easier to get annoyed/upset over things. Then there was the completely unexplainable crying at one point. George kept saying he did not understand, but neither did I O.o I should still be getting the symptoms from it all month, because it increased my estrogen. Bleh.

George

George is now officially off his meds, and surprisingly, but amazingly, he is MUCH better. He said that his head feels more clear than it has in the past year and a half. I am trying to convince him to make a post here so people will stop bugging me about never hearing his side... He is thinking about (nothing has happened yet) applying to more jobs in Boston, starting with Ratheon. 

Gaming

I voiced my desire to play a game a few days ago, so George decided I was going to play Torchlight with him. So Now I have a steam account (messymouse) and he gifted Torchlight 2 to me. I have an embermage who is now level 20 =) This game is totally what Diablo 3 should have been, but D3 sucked. I hate feeling like I am in a beta. 'Oh so you know that attack speed you were stacking, we cut it in half because it was too powerful. Now you will really not be able to win. Carry on.' I am sticking to my previous rule of 4 hrs a day though. Well, unless I am in the middle of something, I can finish it.

Books

As many of you know, I am an avid audiobook listener. Harry Potter read by Stephen Fry is my ALL TIME FAVORITE. I think I am at 7 complete series listens now. Anyways, I have tried Wheel of Time again, this time while taking notes. I LOVE it! The biggest problem I had was keeping track of characters, but as I was taking notes I noticed that almost everyone has 3 names/titles and it randomly uses all of them. That made it so much easier! So now I am on book 3 of the series, and I think I will see it through all 12 and maybe #13 will be out before then (Jan '13 I think). Then George and I always have something we are listening to together for long car trips or just want to spend time together doing a puzzle or something. We just started Game of Thrones again. The first time I found it confusing and hard to keep track of what was going on. This time, I took notes and even without that, I have no idea what the problem was. We are liking it =)


Rachael

Here Goes Nothing!

Today is Day 5 of my new cycle (that last one ended up being 48 days!) so that means it is the day I start clomid. So here goes nothing!

I am scared and excited. 

I decided recently that I am going to start my own etsy shop as an indie dyer. I got the dyes yesterday and mixed them all up into bottles. I should be getting the yarn this morning, and then George and I are headed down to Raleigh today (that will take all day...). Tomorrow we will pack the van with stuff from the house and then head over to Virginia to see Liza! She wants to try out dying, so I am bringing the dye stuff =) I am super excited about my shop, and I already did the hardest part, I came up with a name! "Messy Mouse Studios" Now I need a logo! I am thinking something like a mouse on/beside a ball of yarn that has dye splashed on both of them. More on that later after I find an artist. 

The big thing I am going to try to do in my shop is fill a hole I have noticed in the yarn market. (There are probably some solutions already, but not that predominant.) I really like the look of things like KP Chroma with it's long gradual color changes, but I hate single-ply yarn >.< I am WAY to hard on yarn for that, I always break it. So I want to try to experiment to figure out how to dye yarns that way that are not single-ply =) I have no idea how to do it, but I will try!

I made George apply to Amazon in Seattle. They had a really cool job opening that suited him, and it was in Seattle, and I don't mind moving again so much. I wanted to move to Seattle when we were back in Texas, maybe I will get my wish after all. 

Liza taught me to CROCHET recently! Look at this amazingness!

It is really not that bad looking. My hand on the other hand, FREAKING HURTS. I need to grow me some crochet muscles! Also, I need to learn to not use acrylic no matter how pretty it is >.< I really like the look of that blanket, but the squeakiness of the yarn is getting to me. Maybe I will get some worsted superwash yarn next time I place an order and dye some to look like it =D

That is all for now, I need to go pack for the trip today =)

CD 41

At my last RE (Reproductive Endocrinologist) appointment, my T4 was tested again. It is now in the normal range with the medicine I am on, yay! This means this is the month for the clomid cycle! I was under the impression that I was going to get a medicine to start Day 1 that day, but they would rather wait for my natural cycle. I am baffled as to why, we are controlling every other hormone this month, why wait for mine for this one thing? Anyway, now I have to wait for my body to behave. It is now officially Cycle Day 41. 41! That is CRAZY late. If they had not already done a blood pregnancy test I would be excited, but there is virtually no chance I am pregnant right now, my body is just being stupid. The RE will give me meds to start AF (Aunt Flo, aka period) if it has not happened by CD 50. So 9 days or less until the Clomid month starts. See you then.

Rachael

Fertility Update

My cycle evaluation is complete. Well, actually, I was called on day 21 and told that they have the information they need and to schedule an apt with the Doctor. I figured it was not ovulating if they knew on 21 but not 14. Plus, that was what I was expecting. 

The solution is to take Clomid, which was expected. What I did not expect was taking this whole conceiving thing by the horns and controlling EVERYTHING. But before any of that, they need to make sure my thyroid levels are stable and appropriate. Apparently thyroid hormone is vital during pregnancy, I never knew. So, the plan!

8/31- Come in for bloodwork for thyroid levels. If they like what they find, start day 1, if not, adjust meds and come back in 3 weeks once they are stable.

Day 1 (hopefully 8/31)- After confirming I am not pregnant, start a medicine that makes me start my period. This way we KNOW it is day 1 for sure.

Day 5-9- Take Clomid daily. This basically elevates my estrogen level so eggs develop more than usual (and possibly makes more than 1 develop, there is a chance of multiples)

Day 10- Bloodwork and ultrasound to look at developing folicle(s).

Day 11- Bloodwork

Day 12- Bloodwork and ultrasound; Folicles should be developed properly by now and need to be released. That night, injection of Ovidrel, which forces the folicle(s) to release their egg(s). 

Day 13- TI (Timed intercourse) starts. 

Day 14- TI

Day 15- TI

Day 16- Injection of progesterone, which helps my body get ready to support a pregnancy.

Day 28- Pregnancy Test

I was expecting the Clomid, but not the TOTAL control of my hormone system by Ovidrel and Progestorone as well. Might as well though, chances are a lot better this way. No matter what step(s) are failing, we have it covered. Chance of multiples goes from 1-2% up to 8-12% with Clomid. Which I like, but the doctors seem not to.

On another note, I have no idea what this blog has/will become. I dont tend to post knitting things on it like was the original plan. Maybe it will become a child development blog, and since they are no children, its just my ramblings of infertility. We will see.

Rachael

Hunger and thyroid

A few days ago was my second round of fertility tests. They determined that my thyroid levels are low and started me on a replacement drug. Apparently that can cause infertility. All I have noticed so far (as of last night) is that it now feels as if I am wearing a turtleneck sweater all the time (pressure on my throat) which is really bugging me. I am not sure if that is normal, but it is the weekend still so I cant call and ask.

When reading the side effects of the medicine, it said increased appetite and weight loss. Kind of odd... Then I woke up in the middle of the night (aka now) STARVING! I ate half a jar of peanuts and some pretzels while preparing muffins and sausage to eat. They are cooking now and I am so hungry I am literally shaking. It's not as if I don't eat!? I am chalking it up to the new meds, because this is way abnormal. I am as hungry as when I was weaning off straterra. It is not fun to have a desire to eat THE WORLD. I am posting to get my mind off of it for 15 minutes... not working.

Other news. George applied for a job and is in the process of applying for another up here in Boston. I am now seriously considering finding a school to take Philosophy at (as a step up from wanting to do it...) It is just a bunch of headaches to figure out all the logistics of it. I will get to it before classes start, and I know that is soon... 

I have been knitting a lot lately. I decided to make a shawl for the Slytherin KAL that is kinda lacy and it is ADDICTIVE. I dont know if I will even wear the thing, but lace shawls are fun! 

FOOD IS BEEPING, I AM HUNGRY.

Rachael

Update: I found a school and registered myself. I also registered for my teaching exams.

Babies

I want to have babies. So far, this is not happening. Its been almost 8 months now! 

I went to a OBGYN a few months ago to try to figure out what was wrong and I had a bad experience. He asked how long we had been trying (5 months) and then metaphorically rolled his eyes at me like I was WAY overreacting and explained how 50% of couples dont conceive in 6 months and it is totally normal. I replied that I know it could be fine but I want to be checked anyways because I dont want to wait another 6 months to be tested if it was a simple problem. If the tests were normal I would breathe a little easier and be more patient. So reluctantly he decided they would check out my hormone levels. I asked to get George tested as well and he refused to until I was ruled out. So fine, I would do this hormone test. I went to the desk to schedule it and it had to be on day 28 of my cycle. That was the middle of the week I was to be in Texas. The day 28 was because my cycles are typically long (5-6 weeks) so this would theoretically be my "day 21".  Knowing that, I asked if I could just come in right before I leave and again right after I am back, wouldn't that give better info anyways? No. My doctor said no. To wait ANOTHER month for day 28. That was extremely frustrating, but I had no choice. 

Day 28 of the next cycle I went into the office at my time and sat there in the waiting room for over half an hour. I finally got called back and they took one vial of blood and I was done. No doctor or anything, WHY DID I WAIT SO LONG!? Anyways... A few days later I got a phone call saying my progesterone was really low and either I did not ovulate or they took it on the wrong day. I was glad to hear that something was wrong. As backwards as that is, it was a relief to know that I have begun the path to fixing it rather than waiting until next January. -.-  I was a little annoyed that they didn't do more samples. wouldn't it make since if they are thinking it might be 28 instead of 21 they do the test at both days? The conclusion was I need to come back again on day 28 of the next month. Then I moved to Boston.


I found a reproductive medicine/infertility clinic near our house in Boston because it is simpler that way. We went in to our first appointment (OUR, not MY, it was nice) and after only a short wait time we saw the Doctor in his office. He got some background info on why we were there and how he could help us. I love that he asked us these things, not a nurse. Then he said we need to do a full cycle evaluation to see what is going on, and we need to test George as well. Testing on day 1, 3, 10, etc. To track my hormone levels through the cycle. That seems SO MUCH more reasonable and useful. I never got scoffed at for it only being 7 months or anything. He took me seriously, as he should.

Yesterday was day 1, so they had me come in this morning (since day 1 was after 3pm) for the tests. I walked up to the counter, was taken directly inside for blood, then directly over to the ultrasound room and had that done. Then I was free to leave. In-out-done. I dont think I have ever seen a doctors office that efficient. We were there for maybe 20 minutes total. It gets even better. They do all the testing there, so hours later I was called with my results and further instructions. HOURS. I also liked their whole attitude to the process. They had a little pink book in the waiting room that you are free to write in and share stories with future visitors or read the stories that are there. It was nice to read about people praying for success on the IVF they were about to get or gushing about their pregnancy with twins via IUI.


I feel so much better about everything now. I am sure I am in good hands and they will help us figure this thing out and have babies.


In other news, Thomas was helping/slave driving George to work on his resume and apply for jobs last night. I think there are 2 he is interested in so far. Thomas is good for us =)

Life changes

George and I are now living in Boston, MA. To anyone who knows me, this is a shock. 

We had a house in Raleigh, George had a place at NCSU, we had puppies. I know all that. We needed to move. The grad school program was not working out for him there for various reasons. I didn't really like it there. I can't really pinpoint why. But here in Boston, it seems better. Thomas, a good friend of George since childhood, lives in the same complex as us. He is just one of those people that you cant help but feel emotionally stable around, which I think both of us need. George is trying to get a job at the same place Thomas is at, which will be great. Anyways we still own the house in Raleigh for now and we only have a 6 month lease in case this was a bad idea and we want to go back. The puppies have new homes and I have gotten updates from Cygnus' new family and it seems really good for him.

As George and I were packing (ALONE! Where were all our friends!?) we went out for lunch, and I seemed to snap out of my video game hungry trance (as I had been denied them for a few days) and I came to some realizations. I decided from now on I will only play video games up to 4 hrs a day, to be weaned down to 2 hrs in coming months. And no MMORPGs at all. I have noticed how much they are consuming my life and how unhealthy they are letting me become. That might be part of the problem with the house in Raleigh, I had no friends to come over and make me stop, George was having his own issues and playing along with me, and there was no one to tell me it was so unhealthy to just play all day. I am not saying games are bad, what I was doing with them is. Not wanting to take the time to get up and cook because I wanted to keep playing, not wanting to sleep, or do much of anything.

In this same line of thought, I also have decided to tough it out, take the last class for my B.S., and take the MA teaching exams. I will get my license by December. Even if I never use it (I want to be a SAAM) it will be nice to have a backup plan that is already in place. I got my study books and I am not doing so bad on the practice exams.

As far as trying to get pregnant, (we have been trying for 7 months now) the tests came back to say I have low progesterone, so I will need drugs to make me ovulate to be able to have a baby. I honestly dont think I have been happier to hear that a test was abnormal. Yes I have to take meds, but they understand WHY its not working, rather than telling me to be patient. I am not so crazy after all =) They need to do the same tests this month to confirm and they need to check George to make sure everything is fine there, and then it could happen!

I have also decided- last night- to pull myself together and actually do something about my medical issues. (I have postural orthostatic tachycardia syndrome.) I have been told so many times that working out will help me, but it just feels miserable for a while. I need to push through it and feel better. Also I thought long and hard about it, and I think I AM improving, which is great news! Many people develop the disorder in mid-teens and it starts getting better mid-twenties. Not everyone gets better, and as is common with most chronic illnesses, I felt like there was no hope. But I am starting to get better, so I should hove lots of hope!

So, goal for December: Have a B.S., MA teaching certificate, eating healthy, exercising every day, and pregnant. We will see how all that goes, hopefully well. =)