I finally feel all the way back in the world after the ER visit- About 6 weeks later. I got to stop the propanalol yesterday FINALLY without feeling like my heart was racing. That let me stop being so dizzy all the time, so I was hyper and active and productive. I planned out meals for a week, DROVE MYSELF to the store and got everything I needed, went to the doctor, and cooked. I even planned to have people over Saturday! I went to sleep really early because I was exhausted, so now I am up really early =)
I keep up with updates more on my forums than I do on my blog-
3/16
I am BACK IN THE VIVID WAKING WORLD. Sorry, it was very exciting to
be able to take my meds again today after a week without them. The world
is brighter, I can walk around, wash dishes, knit. Overall, I REALLY
REALLY love and need my meds.
Why did I go without them? For 2 tests my neurologist wanted. The
autonomic reflex test, which was a bit uncomfortable for some parts,
that ended in a tilt table, confirming that I have a serious issue
standing (BP drop, HR skyrocket, brain fuzzy) they only did it for 10
minutes, which was not bad. The one I did for the cardiologist a long
time ago they made me actually pass out, which was SO HORRIBLE. Anyways…
The 2nd test was an EMG. They first shock different muscles until they
see twitching, which was really uncomfortable, but livable. The tech was
really good at distracting me with conversation, which helped a lot.
Then the doctor came in, well actually it was a fellow, which I think is
really cool, and he was really cute. He stuck NEEDLES into various
muscles and you could hear the nerves firing when I was instructed to
move. That was very unpleasant. The needle did not hurt so much, it was
the moving it around inside my muscle while telling me to relax, ugh.
But the upside of all that, they succeeded in breaking my fear of my
shots. I don’t understand it, but there was no waiting terrified time
today or yesterday. I guess I have accepted that unpleasant things will
happen, and thinking about it and delaying only makes it seem worse. The
tests were not nearly as bad as I thought they would be, and same with
the needles. It never hurts. so what it the point of fretting over it? I
am so glad that happened, because in a week I get to talk to my RE
about IVF if this cycle fails. The only thing seriously stopping me
before was the terrible fear of needles, so I am going to be okay now.
Upside of IVF- chance of multiples! That would be so cool.
All I have done all week is sleep (and destroy any semblance of a
normal sleep schedule, I wake up at 3pm today >.< ) and play with a
ton of new mods for minecraft with DH. Mostly me playing and him
joining after work, but it kept me fulling engaged and occupied during
the no-med days. Knitting is not easy off my meds, it makes me restless
for some reason.
3/21
I just got back from the appointment with my RE in which we discussed
IVF next. 3-5 shots per day, all tiny needles in my belly, which I can
handle. The surgery for egg retrieval does not sound as bad as I
thought- light sedation and they go in through the cervix, no cutting me
open. Then I was given the choice of PIO (Progesterone in Oil shots) or
crinone (ikcy cream to put up there for progesterone). I took one look
at that PIO needle and decided CRINONE. The stuff is not that great, but
OMFG that was a big needle. It is an intramuscular injection with a
pretty large gauge needle. Of course, this is all only if my current
cycle does not work out. It feels good to have a plan though =)
All the different things for the shots was a lot to learn though.
Some have to be mixed, others not, blah blah blah. I need to get back to
being productive now- which does not include knitting. =(
3/25
I went to the dentist today. I refused to let her give me a shot of
Novocaine, and instead just dealt with the pain of getting 2 deep
cavities filled. It hurt a LOT, but I still think I made the right
choice. I hate when I cant talk and drool for the rest of the day! 5
minutes of intense pain and it was all over. I get to go back in a week
for more >.<
I am currently PUPO (Pregnant until proven otherwise) and don’t
really feel any different. Not to say that is bad, just meh. I have the
IVF packet of info and it sounds kinda crazy, but do-able. I hope I
don’t have to, but I will survive if I do. Maybe I will have twins!?
That would be cool.
I have been doing well on the productive-around-the-house front. I
have made HUGE progress filing everything and paying off medical stuff I
forgot about. I have been cooking almost every day, the kitchen is
staying clean, clothes are being washed, and the rooms picked up. My
dizzyness level is like through the roof every day lately because of
this, but I am DOING it! Next up- organizing the yarn.
Rachael
