My Little Brother

For those of you who are not aware, I have a little brother. He 4.5 years younger than me. When he was born I protected him and took care of him (or tried at least). When we were young we fought like most siblings do. When we started getting older, our interests started actually lining up a bit, and we got along. He got me into Pokemon and Runescape and I got him into guitar. When I was 14 and ran away from my dads house, I took him with me. We both ended up living at our moms not long after that and we started actually hanging out more. When none of his friends were over and none of mine were online, we would hang out in his room playing guitar and talking about science things. I tried to encourage him in his guitar playing and programming. Senior year we connected a lot more, being much closer in interest groups. Then I went to college 250 miles away. 

My freshman year was really difficult for me emotionally. I was taking 18 hours and ended up with a 3.89 GPA, but I felt like I had SO MUCH free time, it was boring. People would try to help by asking, "Well, what did you do in your free time last year?" I would go hang out with my brother, or do crafts with my little sister (at the time, she was 4). I discovered new games via my brother and we played them together (Pokemon, WoW, Spyro, Mortal Kombat). I had no one left to take care of and protect, only equals. Then when I learned my sister was acting out in school, and my brother started failing, it got worse. They needed me there, I wanted to go home. I stuck with it, knowing that I needed a college degree, and I did grow as a person, but it still hurts to know all the time I lost. 

Right after college, I got married and moved really close to my family for a few months. It was so cool seeing them and helping Zach figure out college stuff. He somehow became the SUPER popular kid at school without trying at all. He was Prom King... It was nice to be around, but even more sad when we left. Now I live in Massachusetts, which is SO FAR AWAY! It made it slightly easier knowing that Zach was not at home anyways, he was at college. Over Thanksgiving I started noticing how much he has changed and really become his own person. My little brother is not so little anymore!

I talked to my mom over the holidays, and apparently Zach brought all his stuff back home and said he was not going back to college. He failed most of his classes and he felt like it was not worth going deep into debt when he thinks he will fail again. I talked to George and asked a bit about the Computer Science field... you HAVE to have at least a bachelors to do anything. So Zach needs a degree, but he did not like Texas State for whatever reason. I called him and gave him his choices- Pack his stuff back up and go back there and do better, take some classes at the nearest community college (~30 minutes, and it sucks) and get a job, or come move in with George and me. (Grammatically, George and me right there is correct. Just saying.) His reaction was something like, "Well, moving is obviously the best choice for me, so I guess that is what we should do." I really thought there would be more... argument?

At this point you might be thinking, "How does that help?" Lots of reasons.
1. When I would call him every now and then and ask how classes were going, we would say he was failing and George or I would help him through it. That was really useful, but he fails to call me when he needs help. He will only accept when help is offered. If he is here, we can help.
2. He has ADHD. I know this, he knows this, it is obvious. Medication helps him a lot, but he is one of those people that needs someone to say, "Your appointment is Friday at 10am, be there." Our mom is not that person, and our dad is against medication. I can be that person. If he chooses not to take medicine that is totally fine as well, but we cannot ignore the ADHD to hope it goes away. Yoga and meditation along with a doctors note to record all lectures is a good start. He can get on Mass health here and actually see a doctor.
3. The reason he chose Texas state in the first place was his friends. I think he just did not "click" with it for some reason. The plan here is getting an associates in Computer Science at the community college ~15 minutes away in 2 years. There are rules in Mass that say all public colleges in the state have to accept them, and University of Mass Lowell has exact transfer info from Middlesex Community College. He can have his choice of University to transfer to, and this time he can tour them and actually make a choice.
4. He hates that he had to take out a $14k loan for his first semester. He did not get any scholarships, and financial aid only covered his tuition at TSU. Dorms + Meal plan is expensive. Here he will be living in an apartment with George and me, where his room and food are not putting him into debt. MCC is way cheaper, and hopefully financial aid will cover most-all of it. UML is only 24 minutes from our apartment if he decides he wants to stay with us, or he could leave to live in a dorm/apartment =)
5. If he wants a part-time job, we live in a HUGE computer science area. He can get something way more worth-while than fast food.
6. George and Thomas are both wonderful role models for him. They can even help with CS competition stuff to help get him scholarships for university. George is happy to help with anything math/science/CS and probably pretty useful at History and English. I can help with the Psyc, French, and Music.
7. Lastly, this one is for me. I have had loneliness issues since we moved away, and having my little brother around will be SO helpful! Just thinking about all this and helping make plans has gotten me to clean the house and cook =P

I have a flight down to Texas on the 1st, and then we will head out with his car full of stuff (mostly music stuff) up to Mass. We have up to 2 weeks to get here, but I think it will only take 1 week. Then we get to all move into the new place together! We had an extra bedroom there for future babies, but that is at least 9 months out, so it is now Zach's room. We are not sure what will happen when there is a baby around. Move into a 3 bedroom or rent a house if he wants to stay, but none of us know if he will want to wake up to a baby =P Come to think of it, he would probably sleep through it.

My live has changed a LOT over the last week, in a very good way =)

Rachael

December Update

I have been feeling very BLAH lately. But it has been a month since I posted, so I guess I should.

I have been sort of lonely and depressed-ish lately because I am now home alone every day. George has a job, and is doing well, and I miss him =( I don't even get much stuff done around the house when he is gone, which makes me feel worse. I stopped taking my medicine last month, and I think it is really catching up to me. I am dizzy and tired and don't have energy to do anything now. Meh, maybe I should take it today. 

I posted in the Slytherin common room (its a knitting group thing...) about some of the issues I have had with lonelyness, and I was very impressed with how much support I have there, which actually made me feel a lot better. =D

I visited home for Thanksgiving, and that was a lot of fun to see everyone =) I wish I knew when I would see them all again. Living so far away is hard =/

George and I decided to try an IUI this (last) month rather than TI again. That was... uncomfortable, but not as bad as I feared. The doctor said he gives it a 45% chance to work for us, but each month that is fails that number goes down a lot. IVF has a 50% chance to work for us. Power of positive thinking! IT WILL WORK THIS TIME. I am taking next cycle off either way, because we are successful or because we are taking the next step and getting an HSG to check my tubes. Time will tell. 

I don't even know what else I want to post about. We are moving to a new townhouse/apartment once our lease is up here in January. I have a place picked out, but waiting to hear back that we can for sure more in there =)

Rachael